20 Tips to Meet Women at the Bar (and Take Them Home)
Written by Mike and Jeff on January 2, 2016
There are a lot of ways to meet women.
You could get on Tinder, you could join an on-line dating site, you could ask someone out at work, or maybe you will meet someone at the gym.
I mean you could meet someone walking down the street. Who knows?
But with all that said, there is one place that is without a doubt that is the best place to meet a lady, and that is a bar.
Women that hang out at bars are possibly there to meet someone too.
Not only that, but the type of woman that hangs out at bars is way more likely to have sex with you right away then those you would meet anyplace else.
Alcohol is a disinhibitor.
The chick that you might meet at the gym at 6 in the morning looking at you like you are a creep for staring at her ass is the same chick making out with you in the bar parking lot at midnight.
Basically when you go to a bar it should be party time, and if you work on your game and use a few, or all, of the below tips you should have no problem whatsoever picking someone up. Be confident, but don’t act cocky, have a few drinks, and for God’s sake, have some fun man.
Here are 20 Ways to Pick Up a girl at a Bar.
1. Drink Like a Man.
This is subtle but if you are a good drinker already you know what I mean, and if you aren’t, then get it together.
Drink enough so that you are loose, but not so much that you are sloppy.
Order highballs, or even beer, and under no circumstances order some craft cocktail like a mojito or an Appletini.
She wants to hook up with a man, not hang out with another one of her girlfriends.
2. Weed Out the “Good Girls”.
Do not waste your time if you get the vibe that the chick you are talking to isn’t going to go home with you.
If she plays it off, that she doesn’t do things like that, or giggles a lot with her friends while you are talking to her, or acts too good for you, then just turn and walk away immediately.
You’re at the bar to bring someone home, the more time you waste with a “good girl” the less chance you have at making that happen.
3. Lie About What You Do For a Living, or if You Have a Good Job Flaunt it.
That’s right. Lie.
This is about getting laid not meeting your wife.
Girls at the bar want to be impressed. If you are a lawyer, for Gods sake mention that.
Mention it a lot.
If you are a landscaper then tell her you are a writer, an artist, a musician, I mean tell them you get a trust fund.
It really doesn’t matter.
If you can’t be interesting, pretend you are interesting, because while men just want sex, women want to wake up the next day and feel like they have had an adventure.
Give her one.
4. Make Eye Contact.
This should be simple, but it is totally necessary.
As you talk to her, look directly into her eyes.
You will be surprised what you see there.
Usually within a few minutes you are either going to just see a blank stare or you are going to see a girl that looks mesmerized.
If it is the former, walk away, if it is the latter, step up your game, you are almost there.
5. Get Into Her Mind.
This one is subtle, but with a little practice it becomes second nature.
It isn’t that hard to figure out, almost right away, who she wants you to be.
If she has a lot of tattoos then be a little dangerous, if she is dressed well and out with her work buddies, then be a little rich and successful.
Just follow her lead and manipulate her.
Don’t be obvious of course, then she pulls out the creep card, but if you can be subtle she will wake up the next day, you will be gone, and she will still think you were the greatest guy ever.
6. Become Friends With the Bartender.
This is done for two reasons.
If you are friends with the bartender, you look way cooler in the eyes of the woman you are trying to impress.
It also is important because the bartender will give you, and even more importantly her, strong pours and remember, the drunker she is, the better off you are.
How to Befriend the Bartender
- Go during the day or during slow hours so that he/she recognizes you.
- Leave a good tip. This sets you apart from the masses. The bartender will instantly value you and will always help you out the next time you come.
- Ask them how their day is going.
- Don't buy them shots or drinks. Some are allowed to drink on the job (if it's legal in the state), but most will just spit the alcohol out in a chaser.
7. Be Elusive, Not Needy.
Define: Elusive - difficult to find, catch, or achieve.
This one is a little tricky.
You don’t want to be so elusive that she doesn’t know you are hitting on her, but you also don’t want her to think she is your only option.
Don’t be needy, show her how much game you have, and you might find that after a little while she is the one trying to pick you up, instead of the other way around.
How to be Elusive:
- Dress well.
- Be confident
- Always keep the ball moving forward towards your goal: getting laid, but don't come across as desperate.
- Hint to her that your time is extremely valuable: either you make lots of money, or you have a tight agenda (whether you actually do or not).
- Stay in control of the conversation
- Talk fast, ask her about her life (small talk), but never let her ramble on about her problems.
8. Have Some Balls.
This is not scary. It really isn’t.
This is fun. Don’t be afraid of being rejected.
Kick around, have some drinks, talk to some women. I mean what is so hard about that?
Be a man, have some balls, and do your thing.
If you can’t do this then the rest of this list is a complete waste of time.
9. Seek Out Women That Seem Buzzed.
Okay, so this is kind of predatory.
But this piece is about how to pick a woman up at a bar, not how to meet your future wife.
The drunker she is, the more likely she will go home with you. It’s just a fact.
You aren’t here to be a babysitter, you are here to have fun, and so is she, otherwise she wouldn’t be so hammered in the first place.
10. Be Funny.
Now if you aren’t funny naturally, please don’t try. You will just make a fool of yourself.
But if you have a good sense of humor, use it.
Women like guys that make them laugh, and they also like guys that are treating them like people.
So if you can, make her laugh and have a good time, that way at last call, she might just want to keep hanging out.
This is the secret to being funny:
You need to maximize the ratio of quality of punchline : time it takes to tell joke
- A 10 minute joke with a weak-moderate punchline: not funny.
- A 3-second one-liner comment with weak-moderate humor: moderately funny
- A 1-minute story with a moderate punchline: pretty funny.
- A 5 minute cool story with a strong-punchline: very funny/interesting -- very hard to do though unless you have this story stacked as ammo, and she is genuinely shows interest in the story.
11. Learn How to be Confident.
This is important.
Women are looking for the alpha, they might say they are not, but trust me on this, they are.
Confidence is the one thing you need to have to make all of this work.
Women can tell when you own the room, and they are attracted to it.
You need to practice being confident, and yes, you actually can practice it.
Confidence is a mindset.
Characteristics of an Alpha:
- An Alpha does not need validation. He does not try to get women because it's what his friends think is cool. He does it because he 100% wants to do so on his own.
- An Alpha does whatever he wants. Whether it's "good" or "bad" he does not conform to what society says. Obviously he takes the consequences of bad choices into mind and acts upon his ultimate decision.
- An Alpha never gives up. Cliche, but even if he fails, he keeps trying, learns what he did wrong, tweaks his approach, and will ultimately succeed.
12. Be Persistent.
You are here to meet a woman, take her home, and have sex with her.
You are not here to be shot down once, and go home.
Don’t give up, and don’t waste time with a woman that isn’t giving you positive signals.
Just keep doing what you do, have some drinks, have a good time, and don’t lose track of your goals.
If your success rate is 20%, statistically, you only need to attempt at most, 5 times before you will ultimately succeed. Most will give up after 2 tries. Please email us if you don't understand this math.
13. Like What She Likes.
This one is easy.
If she likes Game of Thrones, so do you.
If she likes Indian food, you just had it last night.
If she likes to read a lot, tell her how you just read a great book last week.
If she doesn’t like guys that are obsessed with football, you barely watch it.
This isn’t an intellectual tug of war, it is about getting her home and in your bed.
The path of least resistance is to make her happy and compliant.
14. Get in Good With Her Friends.
If she is out with a bunch of her buddies your only shot is to have them like you.
Otherwise they will drag her out by the hair before they let her go home with you.
Laugh at their jokes and buy them drinks.
Who knows maybe if it doesn’t work out with the one you are hitting on you can take one of her friends home instead.
15. Ask Her to Go to Another Bar.
Don’t do this right away of course, but as the night goes on ask her to go someplace else with you, that isn’t home to your bed.
This gets you in a place to know where she is at without blowing your load too soon.
If she says yes, comes with you and leaves her friends, you know she is coming home with you later.
If she says no, then move on to someone else.
16. Go With a Friend or Group of Friends.
As much as a guy should be fine being at a bar by himself, a woman might think he is a creepy loser if he is alone at a bar.
Bring friends, but only bring ones that can be trusted and not trying and have sex with the same women you are.
That guy may be a drinking buddy, but he isn’t your friend. Help each other out, don’t fight over the same woman.
The exception to this is if you are visually very appealing (fit, well-dressed).
A woman can stare at you from across the bar and right off the bat tell that you are an above average male.
In this case, it's perfectly fine to go to a bar alone.
Additionally, if you befriend the bartender, you immediately become "not-alone" at the bar. This strategy is great because you don't have to bring friends that potentially get in the way, and you have the support of a "captive" friend.
17. Give Her a Light Touch.
Don’t do this right away, but this is the surest way to find out where you are at.
If you reach out, and touch her arm, her back, or even her leg then you are going to get a reaction that lets you know how to proceed.
Make it light, not a caress, just a touch as you are talking.
This is what is known as a heat check.
Whether you are cold, or smoking hot, you will find out soon with this one.
18. Act Like You Have Been Here Before.
Don’t act like you are all excited to be at a bar talking to a woman. She wants a man.
Act like one.
You do this all the time, there is nothing special, or different, about you sitting at the bar next to a hot woman who is about to go home with you.
19. Get Her Drunk.
You heard me. Get her drunk.
I have seen a woman change from "Please go away" to "Please take me home and bang the Hell out of me" over the course of two or three drinks.
Buy her booze, but not before you have met her. That is just cheesy to send a woman a drink that way.
Talk to her at the bar ask her what she is drinking, buy her a drink. That simple. Then buy her three more.
20. Have a Headlight Out.
This is our top secret move.
This of course only works once you get away from your friends, and if you and the woman are connecting.
After you have been hanging out for a while and have had a few drinks tell her you are worried about driving home, as there is a headlight out in your car and you are worried about being pulled over by the cops.
Just about every single time I have used it the woman says I can sleep on her couch. The couch thing never happens.
There you have it. If you follow these steps, you are going to be taking woman home from bars, pretty much all the time. Good luck out there, and have fun. That’s what it is all about.
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