Non-Mainstream Guide on How to Get Dates on Tinder More Efficiently

Written by Mike and Jeff on January 22, 2016

This guide aims to efficiently get you dates and sex.

Most guys spend tons of hours texting a girl without getting anywhere.

Don't be this guy. Beware, some girls on just on Tinder to get attention from guys with no intention of actually meeting up.

Also guys fall in love with each girl. Trust me, she's not "the one". At most, she's just a "good match", but there are plenty of other "good matches" out there.

First Things First: Girls Always Date Up

What does this mean? It means if you're a 7 (in terms of looks/profile on a 1-10 scale), you can only match with a 7 or lower, especially in online dating.

In other words, girls will always swipe right if the guy is at their level or higher (they date "up"). If she's a 6, she will only want to date guys 7 - 10.

The difference here, compared to guys, is that girls always date up. Not sometimes. Always. Guys may sometimes date down. Girls always date up.

Since guys sometimes date down, this creates a small area where supply meets demand, and is the reason why there are actually not that many meet-ups, despite the App's pitch to "find and date girls more easily."

Obviously there are exceptions here (e.g. ugly guy with tons of $), but if you understand "girls always date up", then you understand 99% of how Tinder works.

Phase 1: The Aggressive-but-Polite Opening Text

Message her something similar to "Hey there, do you want to meet at a bar or coffee shop to see if we would be a good FWB (Friends with Benefits) match?"

Yes, use the term "friends with benefits" or FWB. The goal here is to add some shock value.

The reason for such an aggressive (yet polite) opener? It aims to get a response (good or bad) from the girl!

Most guys will make a typical opening message, the girl reads it, and then, either its too generic, or not exciting, and she will ignore it for now.

Even though she ignores it "for now", she usually completely forgets about it, and will never re-read it or come back to it.

Now, here's the big insight behind this strategic first text.

It allows you to see if she sees potential in you, and it gets her to take action on you.

It also sets you apart from the hordes of men on Tinder. This may be obvious to most guys, but you're definitely not the only match that she has.

Women have more matches then men (remember, men are most likely to swipe right, girls, take their time and actually read profiles -- they're more picky).

Think about it:

If you were really below her level, then she wouldn't even give you the time of day; she would not even bother to acknowledge or reject you.

Most girls will say something like "no thanks" or "not looking for a FWB", etc. There is extreme subtext here, and that subtext meaning is in the action of rejecting you.

Her action means: She's interested in you, but due to sexual availability (busy with work, doesn't want to come across as "easy", or simply not sure how good you are in bed, there are so many possible reasons), she will reject you.

No problem. If she rejects you, that's a good thing. It's better than not getting a response at all.


Also, once you mass texted all your matches, a few will answer. Find the girl that is the most responsive, and now we're going to focus all our efforts 100% on her. If two respond, pick one to focus on.

Phase 2: The Meet Up ASAP Phase

Now that we know she has a non-zero interest in you, on to phase 2: meeting-up with her.

A lot of guys don't do this. Instead, they try to text her for a few days to convince her that he's really interesting.

She swiped right, she responded to your disgusting-yet-polite opening text -- she's already interested in you to some degree. No need to keep selling yourself.

Plus, a lot of the texts can be communicated face-to-face. It's also better to talk face-to-face rather than text her your life story because it makes a stronger connection with her.

Now, depending on the time of day, your goal is to meet her up for coffee or food.

Even better if you try to plan to meet in an hour or two (as opposed to next Sunday). This doesn't give her time to think it over as much and possibly change her mind.

Texting her at 10am? Get her to meet you for lunch that same day.

Now here's the trick. You let her pick where she wants to meet up. No complaining, no other suggestions. This creates friction. Friction kills meet ups. Don't cause any friction.

She'll probably pick her favorite coffee shop. Good. Text her that you'll see her in a bit! Add a smiley face or something to show your enthusiasm.

See the photos for a perfect example of how this is done successfully.

Also, don't split the bill. Don't even think about it. You pay for the coffee, or beer, or food. No this is not "beta" behavior. In fact, it's far from it. It shows you're in control, and comes across as very masculine.

Because you showed that you're cool, masculine, and even a bit horny (don't worry girls are too), usually the girl will invite you to sleep with her within either the next few dates, or even after the date.

The example below shows a girl having sex with me after I took off from work, when I met her for the first time at a lunch date meet-up earlier that same day.

Phase 3: Following-Up With Her

This is pretty important: Like shown above, after you have sex with her, message her the next day and ask her if she had a good time. Hopefully she did and messages you that she did.

Save this text however you like, like as a screenshot. This is important evidence in a rare rape accusation case. Keep your bases covered.

Here is a fantastic article for all sexually active guys to read on avoiding and combating false rape accusations.

If you don't have sex after 2 or 3 dates. Ditch the girl. She's just using you for free stuff and attention. Take your losses. You're a little bit more experienced and wiser.

If you haven't, listen to some of the lyrics in The Weeknd's songs and channel that same energy into your Tinder dates. It's good motivation and also good background sex music to play when you and her are actually doing it.

The PhalloGauge Team will answer all questions/comments you may have.

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