How to Tell a Girl You Like Her Without Messing It Up

Written by Jeff Ferrara on September 18, 2016

a boy whispering into a girls ear telling her he likes her.

The reason you won't get off the couch and tell her right now.

You're scared.

Here are the fears that are probably racing through your mind.

  • You're scared of the result.

  • You're scared of the future awkwardness if she rejects you.

  • You're scared of the anxiety.

  • You're scared of not appearing cool or smooth when actually telling her (inferiority complex).

  • You're scared you're not good enough for her.

You're not accountable to yourself.

Numbers that will persuade you to combat your fear.

I could tell you to just "tough it out" and "grow some balls". However, this combatitive motivation usually doesn't work for people.

Instead, you need to persuade yourself by hypnotizing yourself into there being no other option.

Let me tell you how I persuaded myself to finally tell a girl that I liked her (Jeff's Childhood Story).

This story takes place in the summer of my senior year in high school - that is, after the summer, I would be a senior.

So there was this girl that I really liked.

I could go into the details of why I liked her or what made her so special, but I won't because that's not the point of the story, and I'm sure you have your reasons for liking certain women of your own.

However this girl and I were in the school orchestra together, and that summer, our orchestra went on tour to Europe.

The girl I liked was one year older than me so, she had already graduated, and would be going off to college after that summer was over.

Mentally, I was in the same position as you, I always had feelings for this girl, but could never bring myself to tell her that I liked her.

I felt ashamed, embarassed, and little, and would even try to convince myself that it would just be better not to show my true feelings at all.

But I couldn't help myself, every chance I got, I had to stare at her from across the room, or hallways, or wherever we were touring at the time in Europe.

I even stared at her from across the stage during before and after performances. I would quickly look away if she was about to look back at me.

Eventually, it was the last day of the tour before we went back home.

That restless night, I finally made up my mind to tell her how I felt - no matter what happened - no matter if I crashed and burned or if she laughed or if she accepted my crush on her.

I had no plan B as to what I should do if she rejected me, and I had no happily ever after plan if she accepted.

So that morning, in the ballroom, for breakfast, I decided to seek her out early before everybody came down.

I sat down next to her and told her, "I have something I want to tell you."

"I really, really like you, always have liked you."

And there was literally no response from her. She just stared at me - probably in shock.

Looking back on it, she probably didn't know how to react, and she didn't want to embarass me, and there was nothing practical that she could do from there.

After the awkward pause, sort of told her to just think about it and I didn't want to pressure her anymore.

a boy confessing his love to his girl

And you want to know what happened next?


She didn't say anything to me, she left for college (as expected), and I never heard from her again.

Not the outcome I was looking for, but there's something extremely important that you can learn from my story that you can use for your situation.

Here's the event-driver that you can learn from this story.

The lesson of the story? You need to develop a powerful reason that will give you no choice but to tell her you like her.

If not, I'm sad to say, you will never reveal your feelings for her.

Think about why I ended up telling my girl that I liked her, from my story.

The only reason that I did was because it was literally the last chance that I would possibly see her ever again in my life.

After all, she was going off to college and I was going to be stuck in high school for another year.

That fear of never seeing her again, and the fear of regret was powerful enough for me to blindly confess my feelings to her - even though there was no practical way to make it work out.

It was literally too late, but the fear of regret combined with my feelings for her made me grow a pair and just blindly take action.

And that's what you need to find - a reason or convincing argument that will spur you to tell her that you like her.

It doesn't need to be a 100% logically sound reason.

It needs to be a emotional, powerful reason that will move your solid stubborness.

Let's discuss how you can use this type of hypnotic persuasion to make you take action.

The power of hypnosis, and how to hypnotize yourself.

Why persuade (hypnotize) yourself to take action.

As we just illustrated, the reason you don't take action is because you don't have a powerful enough reason to do so!

In my case, it was the fact that I would probably never see her again, combined with the intense regret that I would experience that forced me to take action.

After all, you wouldn't be here reading this article if you did take action to begin with!

So you need a powerful reason - the reason we say "hypnosis" is because that reason may or may not be 100% factual or truthful.

It just needs to be convincing.

a man hypnotizing

Here are some ideas for powerful, convincing reasons that you can use on yourself.

  • "I'll probably never meet another girl like her in my lifetime."

  • "I'll probably never see her again after school/university/quit my job/she quits her job."

  • "She'll probably be taken by another guy, and I'll regret it if I didn't even try."

  • "It would be worse if I didn't tell her, than if I didn't tell her and she just ignored me."

  • "She's nice to me, so it would be a waste if I didn't meet her halfway."

These are just some convincing thoughts to get you started.

You can probably come up with some more of your own. Try to instill fear and regret into your argument to convince yourself.

There may be better reasons that are more applicable to your specific situation.

Remember, the convincing reasons don't need to be logically sound, in fact, it's better if they're not. In fact, this form of logical rejection is what allows you to take action that will actually benefit you in the long-run, despite your lizard brain's efforts to resist.

But what happens after you've finally confessed and taken your relationship to the next level? The bedroom is imminent and you don't want to be caught unprepared.

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