The Essentials List of Dating Tips for Men

Written by Chelsea on March 3, 2016

a couple dating in a park

Dates are supposed to be fun, but can involve a lot of uncertainty and pressure.

When you're going about trying to get to know someone, it's hard to know exactly how to act, what to talk about, and what to do.

man who appears nervous and anxious for his date to start

You want to impress the girl you like and have a good time, but it's easy to worry about saying the wrong thing, making it awkward, or (God forbid) ruining your chances with her.

Allow me to help you alleviate some of those concerns with some tips and ideas for what to do on a date.

Don't be too passive about the activities of the date.

It can be frustrating for girls when you get invited out by a guy and he hasn't even made any plans for the evening.

Have some ideas ready, instead of standing there and saying, "I don't know, it's up to you..."

This type of indecisive behavior can be really unattractive.

Women are drawn to men who know how to take control and have direction.

Men who know what they want.

Being decisive in simple things like activities for an evening shows that you are confident in yourself.

That being said, it's also important to remain flexible and accommodating if she has ideas of her own.

Come up with activities that are tailored to her personally.

Find out what kind of music she likes, what her favorite food is, whether she's into sports, theater, art, or something else, and select something that is related to her interests.

This shows that you are thoughtful and observant, and care about whether she is having fun or not.

Not to mention that this is really easy to do and the returns plentiful.

Keeping that in mind, it's also important to find something that you will enjoy as well.

If you take her to a play, but hate them yourself, you will be bored out of your mind and she will likely sense that.

Find something you both can enjoy and have fun with, whether it's a concert, certain type of cuisine, or specific movie genre you both like.

Whether your intentions are a casual physical encounter, or laying the foundation for a relationship, doing things that are fun for both of you is essential for establishing rapport.

Take her somewhere where you can walk side by side and look at things, instead of sitting across from each other at first.

This could be some type of gallery, a walk along a nice river, or a great spot in town you know that overlooks the city.

man and woman walking side by side in the city

When you're across the table from a date, it can get awkward, and feel a bit like an interrogation.

It's too easy for awkward silences or lulls to happen when you're looking at each other the entire time.

It's much more comfortable, while getting to know someone, to walk together and converse that way.

The talk has a tendency to flow more naturally in these situations, and it takes a bit of the pressure off.

Then, if it seems right later on, you can suggest grabbing coffee, beers, or dinner.

If the vibe is good and she seems to be responding to you, you could even suggest sitting next to her while you eat or drink.

Make sure you ask her about herself.

No one likes to spend time with someone who goes off on endless monologues about themselves without pausing to ask questions and interact.

man and woman having a dinner date outside

One of the most annoying things is a guy who doesn't know how to have a conversation, and instead does nothing but talk about himself.

I can guarantee that this is the absolute fastest way to lose her interest and make her want to run for the door.

Find out what she cares about, get her talking about the things she's passionate about, and this is bound to set a nice mood.

Getting a two-way conversation going is of utmost importance, and that means including things about yourself, while remaining interested in her.

If you're only asking about her, it starts feeling like an interview and kills all mood.

Try to keep it 50-50 when trying to divide talking about each other.

Don't get too drunk.

This is another very annoying thing that some guys do while out on a date.

I'm not sure if they're doing it out of nervousness or what the deal is, but it's not very appealing to be out with someone who starts slurring or stumbling, especially if you just met the person.

It makes you wonder what type of person they are.

Keep it modest, and try to make it an evening you'll actually remember.

This will also count in your favor in regards to having a functioning penis later on, if things end up going that direction.

Needless to say, it's a huge turn off when a guy cannot get it up for your first time because he drank too much.

It's also not nice to go out with someone who eats so much that they are in a food coma for the rest of the night.

Don't incapacitate yourself by stuffing your face.

Be real.

People can sense someone trying to put up a front from a mile away.

It creates this strange vibe and makes girls automatically suspicious if something seems off with the guy.

Since the average girl (I speak from experience) encounters this type of behavior a lot in life, it's important to not become just another one of "those guys".

Most females will know if a guy is trying to be fake or is saying things just to seem impressive, and this can make her close off to you immediately.

They're cliché words, but there's a good reason why they're so popular: Be yourself.

a man and woman dating at a bar

It's a lot easier and more rewarding than trying to remember your fake story or come up with ways to seem better than you actually are.

In fact, fake stories can be really good if your a good storyteller.

So rather than memorize a fake story, improve your storytelling skills.

Just be comfortable and confident in yourself and chances are, she'll respond well to this.

Be spontaneous.

You may have originally only had plans to grab dinner with your date, but if things are going really well, why let the fun stop after the restaurant?

As you're leaving, you could turn to her and ask if she wants to do something else, because you're having a lot of fun with her.

See if she wants to walk around town, go get some coffee, or catch a movie.

This will be a good way to gauge her interest in you.

man and woman having a romantic moment on a bridge

If she responds enthusiastically to continuing your evening, it's probably safe to assume that things are going in your favor.

Maybe she will even want to come back to your place after part two of the date.

Don't jack off before your date.

It's been said that masturbating before a date can lessen some of your tension or nervousness, but this is actually a terrible idea, and the last thing you should do.

man masturbating before his date

Ejaculating drains you, which is why guys fall asleep after sex so often.

Having some pent up sexual energy will actually be a great asset for you in a dating situation.

This will create a more exciting vibe, and you will be "charged up", as opposed to deflated.

It's simple biology; women subconsciously respond better to men with more testosterone, so don't lose it right before spending time with the one you're into.

Ask her for a small favor.

Scientific studies have shown that exchanging favors, however seemingly insignificant, strengthens and speeds along connections between people.

This could be something like asking her to borrow a piece of gum, or to hold something for you while you put on your coat.

It may seem silly, but it has been proven in psychological research.

This simple request could also be a good test for finding out exactly where you stand with her, and whether the date is going well.

The way she responds to you asking for a simple favor can reveal a lot about what she thinks of you.

Does she answer yes without even pausing to consider, or does she seem put off?

a man whispering something into his woman's ear

Know what you want from the situation.

I think it's fair to say that most guys already have an idea in mind about what it is they want from a female they're interested in.

Is she girlfriend material?

Is she someone you'd like to fuck but not be committed to?

secret sex fling in alley as friends with benefits

It's important to keep these things in perspective, so that you don't get roped into a relationship you never wanted or end up having a casual fling with someone you'd rather actually date in a serious way.

Keep that in mind when you choose activities for a date and when you interact with her.

If you want to get sexual quickly, be more forward in your communication, more physical and more suggestive.

Get your date excited.

To sum it up

These are tips that I have gathered throughout my own experience and by also observing lots of friends of mine, both male and female.

I have found out what works and what doesn't, and hopefully some of this information will help you with knowing what to do on a date.

Most importantly, don't forget to have fun!

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